When looking at “self” we can be our own worst critic. As I have stated in my previous posts, I am an organizer to a fault basically in everything I do for I have a lot on my plate. Organization keeps me on the straight and narrow so when something “upsets” the proverbial applecart that’s when all hell breaks loose. This year of running has been sort of low key and ho-hum at best. I did not have the desire to race like I normally do, sort of like “been there-ran that”.
When I completed the back-to-back Ragnars that was sort of the end for me in terms of races. I just didn’t want to race any more for the summer and just log my miles. My job is very unpredictable so when it flares up it has to be all hands-on-deck, which throws my personal schedule off and really affects my running. I feel like things have been out of control at best, which in turn affects my attitude and performance. Now do understand this is what affects “me” and everyone is different therefore, if it’s not applicable to you then so be it.
My weight is a major factor for it really slows down my running (not that I was all that fast to begin with) and sometimes makes me want to stop all together. I feel like the Michelin woman on steroids (yes, I can laugh and talk about myself) just rolling along. There is something about running that I just cannot let go so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It is one of the goals that I just cannot seem to attain but I keep striving for it. I do not know if I really ever got my mojo back and that could be part of the problem as well. I am in the process of re-evaluating my routine, looking at how to change things, and implementing new things (yoga, cross training, etc.).
I set high goals and standards (not perfection) for myself and when I do not hit the mark or make bad matters worse it’s hard for me to get back on track. I have a hard time managing my health (weight, diabetes), and when those things become unstable then it has a snowball effect on everything that I do, then just add a dash of stress and work, well….. Those of you who do not have these battles have no idea so do not judge, again, if it’s not applicable then so be it. So, at this point in the crossroads of summer I’m trying to let the past be the past and move forward.
I do not have any race plans for the rest of the year for I just want to take the time to regroup and get a plan in place for the new year. I have some things on the back burner for next year that will be revealed at a later time if I decide to follow through. I need a shakeout, some downtime, me time, and a few “come to Jesus” meetings with myself. Just so you know, when I write my blogs I do not want to sound like I’m always down or having issues but I do try to keep it REAL. I like to keep things transparent because somebody may be able to relate and does not want to talk about it but knows that someone else feels the same way.
So the rest of this year for me is to work on the “Glass half full” part. If I keep the mind positive then everything will follow or at least think about it. So, I feel like the Rogue RJSA, kind of out there but still in touch.
Ciao for Now!!
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